This is the 10th and final Accomplice Saboteur! If you have managed to go through all of them and figure out which is yours, I hope that brings you closer to learning how to deal with them.
This brings us to the end of the trail of gremlins we are facing but I will continue throughout the blog posts to help you cope and learn to silence them.
Today’s post is about the Victim Saboteur. This is an emotional blackmailer seeking to gain attention and affection and giver their host the martyr feeling.
Some characteristics of the Victim are:
Does not like negative comments and reacts to them like a child by pouting and sulking
Is quite temperamental and acts affected by even the smallest negative emotion
Does not have the strength to put through hard times and often gives up
Had repressed rage ultimately resulting in depression and apathy
The Victim makes you think that no one around you is a friend or understands you. Everyone is out to get you and are doing terrible things to make you lose. You are constantly looking for a saviour and someone to pick you up.
How the Victim controls you is by telling you that having this attitude will get you the attention you need. However, it does not tell you that this can backfire by pushing people away instead. With this attitude, others will feel the burned of making you feel better and even guilt for not being able to step up.
The Victim uses this strategy to squeeze out some affection from those who would otherwise not pay attention to you. Remember that not everyone had to like everyone. People are different for a reason and trying to bond with others using manipulation will only make the situation worst.
Acting like the knight in shinning armour is great. For a while! Then they will start feeling guilty and frustrated because no matter what they do or say, there will be another situation with which you will not be happy with. And the circle keeps spinning!
When your Victim is trying to take over remember to do some PQ reps and calm yourself down while you figure out your next move. Whether you decide to gather some insight from a situation or learn a new way to channel those feeling into a positive emotion, PQ reps are the best way to start.
I really hope you have discovered you Accomplice Saboteurs because this is the first step to learning where they stem, how they act and how you can anticipate their actions in order to make your mind and life calmer.
Please feel free to drop a comment or a message if you would like to learn more about these gremlins and how to cope!
Have a great day!