Do you know the saying “You are your own worst enemy”?
Well this is quite a general saying, being true for personal and professional circumstances.
There are many reasons for self-sabotaging but three main ones are:
1. Poor thinking patterns
The brain involuntarily pushes us towards a familiar situation and sends alert messages when trying a new approach by overestimating the risk and putting ourselves down (this has something to do with the Saboteurs we have been speaking of). This phenomenon is called the familiarity heuristic, being drawn to the familiar, even when a different option would be more profitable or productive.
2. Fears you may have
First would be the fear of failure - What if I don’t make it? What if I am not good enough? What if I am wasting my time?
All these “What ifs” are only preventing you from starting and seeing for yourself if what you are trying to achieve will happen or not. Remember, no one won anything by sitting on the side-lines. Both business and personal lives require leap of faiths and taking risks - no risk, no reward!
A second would be the exact opposite - the fear of success. What if my success bothers someone? What if I grow too fast? What if I will have too much work to do?
It’s often the subconscious that triggers a go off when we are close to succeeding. Maybe it’s because we are drawn to safety, and success might feel for some outside of the comfort zone.
3. Tendency to avoid difficult and uncomfortable things
We have all done it. Trying to get out of that awkward conversation or avoiding a meeting altogether just to avoid the uncomfortable situations we might find ourselves in. But business and success is about making tough decisions, it is about having the courage to say “No” to something you don’t feel comfortable in doing. Strong mind - strong attitude.
This would go hand in hand with Overthinking. We stress ourselves just by making to-do lists. We fill our agendas with tasks and activities that might not even be needed or which we could easily delegate.
Planning is a procrastinating tool. The more you spend on drafting the week ahead, the less you actually get stuff done. You have to make sure that at the end of the week everything was ticked off your list. In business and in personal is it ok to delegate. Find those tasks someone else might be better at, and therefore might do the faster, and ask them for assistance.
If you are a solopreneur, there are many support groups with amazing people who all have their own skill set. Reach out and use some networking skills to meet someone who could help.
5. Lack of commitment and consistency
There is nothing worse than not showing up. Especially in the world of coaching where being present is one of the fundamental key aspects of the business.
Sometimes results will take time to come. For example in social media, a minimum of 6 weeks constant posting and engaging with your followers is necessary to establish a pattern and gain trust. That does not mean that after 6 weeks, you should drop off but consistency is key.
Imagine being employed and not going to work - you would not find that acceptable, so why treat your business any different?
Show up, engage, build trust repeat!
6. Limiting beliefs
Boxing yourself up is another sign you are self-sabotaging.
Have you thought no one will take you seriously because you are childish and sometimes acting immature? Or because you are not very sociable you will not be able to speak at a public event?
You can be both professional and childish, shy and a powerful speaker with great things to share.
People are not only different to each other, but also can be different within themselves. I can be calm and professional during my coaching sessions, yet act like a 5-year old when I go to a Christmas market.
The only thing holding you back is thinking you can only be successful if you have a certain personality type. Be original, be authentic and people will love you for that, because you are unique!
I hope you have identified some of the mistake you are making in your journey and hopefully set them right!
Keep going - You are amazing! xx